Things charmed characters would never say
by seedeadpeople98
Summary: it's just a bunch of stuff that Charmed characters would never say (hints the title) mostly humor... with a litttle coleleo, way different piper, A 'weird' (in lack of a better term) Sorce... and much more
1. the start

**Things charmed characters would never say**

Leo: do you think my butt's too big for this?

Piper: Don't worry they'll be fine, just because they _can_ die doesn't mean they _will_

Leo: Fuck the Elders! Like they're gonna do anything to me anyway!

Phoebe: Sorry 'bad boys' I prefer the sweet, perky type!

Cole: Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I don't really love you. I was only pretending so I could get close to Leo. He's my True Love.

The sorce: You know, I really don't think that black's my color.

Prue: I've been thinking, and I have come to see that I'm really not 'all that'

The sorce: Why are we fighting like this? Let's just put our differences aside, and work this out over a cup of tea.

Prue: I don't deserve to be the best.

Cole: oh leo, I love it when you talk dirty….. Grrrrrrrrr

Death: I think Black is a little to depressing, therefor I'm switching to pink!

Leo: hey Cole, meet me 'you know where' 'you know when' and we can pick up where we left off.

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I know it's short, but I just wanna see how it goes before I put a lot of time into it. So if you want a followup (and trusyt me it'll be much better) then you have to review!


	2. Part 2

Yay! Thankies for the reviews! And I guess I'll add on to it since you guys like it. Oh and I like the cole/leo ones too!

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Things Charmed characters would never say: Part 2 

Paige: Saving innocents is fun and all, but I think I'd much rather become a porno star. No hard feelings sis's!

Leo: Cole, I think Paige is on to 'us'… but I guess we could just do to her what we did with Prue, all we have to do is make it look like an accident….

Cole: Sometimes I worry about being emotionally unstable.

The Sorce: Wow, pulling nosehairs is tremendously painful!

Demon of Fear: It's OK Leo, I see where you're coming from, I mean, you're not the only one afraid of rainbows…

The Sorce: One time at band camp……….

Piper: I don't think it's much to worry about, but Paige hasn't woken up for about a week now. And the big gash in her head is getting on my nerves…

Cole: Alright Leo, you, me, in the bathroom. Let's go!

The Sorce: I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner! That is what I'd really like to be...

Leo: This blush really accentuates my cheeckbones.

Paige: I have a confession… I'm not really your sister…. Although we are siblings…

Leo: I parked in a handicap parking space… hehe.. I'm a bad man!

Cole: usher excites me!

Phoebe: OH MY GOD! I BROKE A NAIL!

Piper: Paige wake up!…. and would you do something about that damn gash, it's grossing me out Big Time!

Phoebe: Does anyone _even _miss Prue?

Piper(follow up on what Phoebe just said): Who?

Cole: leo, you sure know how to make a guy feel manly!

Piper: leo, I hope the elders kick your ass!

Cole: Poke'mon! Gotta catch them all! Hehe… like I haven't already.. hehe

Leo: damn, I better change before piper comes home and sees me in her favorite lingerie….

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ohkay, that's it for now… oh and I'm gonna put this all together in a fanfic, so watch out for it. It's gonna be funny! And Cole and leo will defiantly be in it!

Don't forget to review, or else!


	3. Part 3 at last

Things Charmed Characters Would Never Say 

**HeHe… on their own….**

Hey, sorry about the long wait.. things have come up, but I am going to continue this and start that fanfic I promised. So no worrys there! I hope you guys enjoy!

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PART 3 

COLE: Oh sure, I may act macho, but sob deep down, I'm really sensitive, and I'm hurting.

PATTY: (while looking at Prue, Phoebe and Piper)Whores! All of you! And you idiots actually wonder why I committed suicide…. Don't try to pretend I didn't, face the truth!

COLE: Leo, I'm beginning to doubt my ability to... perform.

PIPER: I'm tired of saving the world! Well now I'm TAKING it over!

THE SORCE: All right Charmed Ones you won…. wanna go play scrabble?

PIPER: Time out! TIME OUT! I GOTTA PEE!

THE SORCE: yes, I will listen to you and change my evil ways

COLE: (making a birthday list) I want the Barbie dream house, a pink dress...

LEO: I think the pink shirt brings out my eyes.

PIPER: (hands baby Chris to Future Chris) Go play with yourself. (wink) (wink)

Paige: Phoebe, what happened to my voice?"

Phoebe: (follow-up to what Paige said) I put a throat irritant in your throat spray. I thought it would be funny.

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ohkay, I know it's short but I'm kinda busy right now, so I'll try to update soon! Don't forget to review. And if you have any ideas you want me to work with just say!


	4. and it goes on

Howdy! I'm back with another chapter for you guys! But first, here's a few replies to my kind reviewers;

Missing Whisper: I'm glad you like it, and that piper one was my favorite too, along with the cole/leo's

Charmed4life: well, don't look at as making fun of charmed. We all love them, and picking on them just happens to amuse us.

alexywill22: I'll work on adding them in somewhere!

Halli-halliwell: ha ha ha

Sashax13: yeah, you'll see that I'll tend to pick on Prue a lot. She gets on my nerves! Just wait till I put up the fanfic! She's gonna get it bad!

The-Cheese-Fairy: I don't know… Paige makes me wonder sometimes..

Faith-charmer: thankies! Just one question, dbz? Is that short for something?

And to all my other reviewers all I wanna say is thankies. Oh and a special thanks to my friend kim for a few ideas! Especially with the coming fanfic!

P.S. Is it just me of is (future) Chris hot?

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Paige: I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own

Paige: I'm glad I'm not bisexual; I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.

(sorry, I was in the mood to pick on Paige a little)

Leo: Oh my good golly day! I broke a nail!

Piper: dammit, Wyatt hasn't woken up for days now… I'm beginning to wonder if he's feeling ohkay…

The Sorce: (while pulling petals of a flower one by one) he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not….

Phoebe: wait isn't he on our side?

Piper: (follow up to what Phoebe said) So? Let's just blow him up and get him out of the way…

Leo: (singing in a girly voice while stripping) I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy that it hurts… (you know the song? They play it in this one commercial.. some car one)

Future Chris: (while looking for baby Chris) Damnit, where'd I go?

(ohkay so maybe it's not so far fetched that he'd say that, but it is pretty funny…)

Prue: I should be the only Charmed One! I am the only one worthy enough!

(she might not say it, but she sure does _think_ it!)

Cole: leo, I'm scared, hold my hand!

Paige: I just love it when I feel compared to Prue! And I know you do it out of love!

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I know it's not much, but I have a little writer's block, oh and I already finished the first chappie of that fanfic I promised, my computers just being stupid so I have to mess around with it till I can upload it. So my apologies! Don't forget to review, I love hearing what you guys have to say!


	5. the sad truth

Hey. I'm sorry to say that I'm gonna put this fanfic (or thingie) on hold for a while, but only while I work on that fanfic, and I'm sure it's gonna be funny, like I said before, it's based of the stuff I did with this. So I hope you guys read it!


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